Tooo cute.

This s a conversation between two new friends of mine, and I found it so cute, that I just had to put it up here. Here goes.


1st friend: You know, wonderful is a person full of wonders. Do you think I'm wonderful?
2nd friend: Yes, I think you are absolutely wonderful.
1st friend: Promise?
2nd friend: Yes, Promise.


It made me smile.

The exposed.

Under the mesmerizing twinkling starlit sky,

glowing in the sea of moonlight,

there, sits she.

Lost - visualizing the past.

Thinking

Refreshing those memories.

Allowing them to flood back,

letting the bitter sweet pain, 

pinch her heart

Yet, once again..

The many people she clutched onto, 

so tightly.

Held so dear.

The few who clutched onto her..

Enlightened her with life,

taught her how the beautiful night sky,

could be so hard, and dangerous at times..

The brave, courageous young lady she was,

her pride, in perfect place.

Head held high.

Dignity as never seen before.

Absurdity of the traits that made her fall?

Sigh but the time's gone now.

Pride, dignity, beauty: certainly not untouched.

Gazing at the single star so little yet bright.

Trying so hard to lighten up the dark sky.

Reminding her of the time,

the star portraying her.

Thanking Him that he gave her the strength.

She wipes the unshed tear and returns.

Back. With the rightfully earned dignity this time.

Dated: 7.11.2010

So much more to her.

There is so much more to her,

than just

her pretty face.

Than just

her hearty smile.

She bleeds away her past,

but the memories stay.

It pierces her heart;

There is so much more to her,

than the love and care she carts.

The spectrum of colours, 

means all the world to her.

And the black and white and grey; 

bring misery, I say,

misery, 

'pon her.

She splashes happiness all 'round;

There is more to her than just,

the two yard floor

to which

she's bound.

For she plays with them 

(colours),

and they spell the 

brightening,

of her soul.

There is so much more to her than struggle,

for,

the lame academic goals.

Thyself means nothing to her,

nothing she thinks

of thyself, sure.

Collectively, the essence of her

(beauty)

is thoroughly unique;

'tis thoroughly pure.

There is so much more to her 

than just

the pain, yes, her pain,

that needs cure.

There is so much more to her,

than just

her pretty face.

Than just

her hearty smile;

'tis her eyes that speak,

'tis them that hide.

'tis them that drown,

'tis them that cry.

There's so much more to her, 

so much more you find,

there's so much depth, 

you see, within.

'tis her eyes.

Her eyes.

Her eyes, herein.

No tear means anything to them / 

for they know nothing of it / 

'tis I who lets them all run wild / 

they know nothing of it / 

'tis I who holds them close, 

who rips herself apart / 

they know nothing of it / 

'tis I who breaks down, 

gives up to love / 

they do not understand / 

for they know nothing of it.

Pinned Hearts

.Every time I look at my pinky, I notice how there's a beak-like projection of flesh arising from it. Strange enough, the beak-like projection reminds me of.. The frog's heart. Since they happen to be beak-like too, at their ends. I dissect frogs almost every wednesday, and well those frogs aren't really dead. They've just been given Chlorofom, so basically they've been forced to sleep a very, very deep sleep.
In our last class, we were asked to remove a layer that wraps the frog's heart. Yes, I would repeat to put emphasis on that. We had to remove a layer that wraps the frog's heart, and then, we had to PIN down the heart. Astonishing as it may sound, the frog heart was still beating. And it wasn't just my frog's heart, or it wasn't just my friend's frog's heart, it was every single frog in that room whose heart that was beating. Even, after being pinned.

--

I have strong memories of my heart being "pinned down". They're strong, excruciating memories. Times when I thought I would not survive. Times where nothing seemed to help. Times I felt weak, helpless, crushed and distributed into pieces. But they did administer me with a lot of rich learning.
The most important lesson uptill now, has been that it will always be The Almighty who pulls you through. It could be through the angels He sends your way for help, it could be through the diversions or distractions He creates, or it could be just any other way. After all, it is Him, and his immeasurable ways. Not to forget his ceaseless love for his creations, the kind of love that could never, ever be put into words. He loves every single one of his creations, be it a just a mere frog awfully being tortured, or an ordinary girl like me, learning to juggle situations. And He always helps them through. Because He, only, is The Almighty, and He provides strength.
For example, here, I smile out to the world. But do you realize? That I process, with a pinned heart.
I hope not. =)

Some blessed day in this life of mine,

I'll allow and let you deep inside.

You'll leave with dampened senses; emotions high,

because of all that I've managed to hide.

And then when you hear a slow sad hymn,

it'd remind you of all you had seen, within.

I'd help you then, I'd keep you warm;

For only I know the secrets of staying calm.

Shadow Monsters.

I recognize those ghastly Shadow Monsters, since babyhood. They're very frightening. Really, they are. They used to give me hiccups and make me wet my pillow, every single time. I was intensely small back then, enveloping an even smaller heart. Me. Yes, I've always been that way. Why, I always had my mother around to pacify me at such times. She would scare away those Monsters.
Only it remains as an ungranted wish anymore, to have time slaved.

--

Time is deceiving. It once, sends you upon the seventh sky and portrays sparkly and such dramatic illusions, that within them you forget. Forget that from the skies and the glory; where you would land, would be the in the thorny arms of the land of the blood thirsty. Where nothing works. And neither does anything pay.
You know. I still witness those Shadow Monsters, and they have gone limitlessly wild now. Why so? Because they know, that time does not help me. And so, I stand as a loner. 
My mommy? Nah, she wouldn't scare them away this time.

They say.

"Because Lady Gaga wasn't born with pink hair, and at some point you thought Ms. Drama Queen was sweet too." ~ Sha

Priorities: The lesson learned late.

Today, after a decent number of months through which given hell, the realization that the worse could yet strike, dawned upon me.

Seen that selfless little ant, who'd rather be nowhere but somewhere where she'd get a couple of sweet words and those sweet gestures of love? Not to mention, how she gives all that the little thing's capable of, and take in all that she couldn't ever bear, and then lift it all up with a pretty smile. 
Just for your sake, and the sake of that "love".
If you tried being like that little ant, sacrificing and giving things up for someone; eventually the circumstances would turn on you. Nobody sticks around for too long. There is no "Eternal Love", no "Forever and Always" and definitely no "Happy Ending". Every story has a turning point. People change. Chapters close. Stories end. And then you're stranded alone. 
Well, mostly.

Though I've learned, that there is this one person who would always be around. Somebody who could be regained if lost, and somebody who you could always depend upon. 
And that special somebody, is you. So cherish yourself.


I learned my lesson. And now, I own myself. Do you? 




Dated: 17th July 2011.

Mind Wanders.

It's funny how people say: "Oh don't worry, you'll stay in touch. Nothing would change!" 
I mean, really?
Everything changes. Because what you had? It no more remains. And all you leave behind are memories.
Yes, really.

The fairy.

It was a random day. And random days for me, yes, they mean I go sad for stupid reasons every once in a moment. Not even while, moment.
And this random day, I had a fairy cheer me up with poems. Imagine how very lucky I must be. Rather, analyze. xD 
Here:


Fairy:

''You have pages and pens and words to write, you have walls to stare at and calculators to make mistakes with, and you have random phone calls to recieve and chemistry to be mad over, and you have pillows to cuddle with and necklaces to break, and you have apple pies to eat and phone screens to curse and you have a keyboard to type and palak to eat, and you have books to endeavor and schools to think of and you have uniforms to wear and you have hair to flip and you have friends to text and most importantly, Tuba, you have WINGS. See. You have so many things. Please don't be sad. Pwease.<3 ''

 
Me:

''I have people who love me, and people who care. 

I have people who think, and people who share.

I have bubbles to blow, and nails to grow. 

And biscuits to gobble, and parties to throw.

I have souls to console, and stories to be told.

I have colours to explore, and flowers in galore.

I have an angel as a friend, do stay with me till my end? <3 '' 

Fairy:

''You see, now you see, all that you have,

No use spilling tears, no use being sad, 

And if we lived in a house made of our own love and care,

You'd be invited in joy and despair, 

And for sure I'll have a smile to lend, 

'Till the very end, my friend.'' 

Me:

''I see now I see, everything that's at its best.

And yes my dear friend,no, no more tears to be shed.

Just what you need to do, is adjust that halo above your head.

Since it perfectly defines, your angelicness that's divine.

And so now at the end,Alhamdulillah is, all that's left to be said. =) '' 

Jealous? No wonder. xD

Through the dull, tiring today.

Through a dull, tiring day like today, the three things that made me forget how tired I was, that made me forget how I'd spent my day only staring at the books and trying to squash things inside my head when all my brain was doing, was sleeping. And the three things that made me smile big (I mean the 'big' big -> =DD). Well, those three things were:


1) How when I was sitting in class, this new friend of mine came from the back, screaming "TUBA KHAAAN!" and surprised me with a bear hug. =D


2) When I went to tuition today, and there my sir's daughter recognized me as the ex-headgirl. And she shyly asked her mum to introduce her to me. Children are adorable. =]


3) Then, when I was coming back from tuition, my dad was continuously trying to make me smile saying "Arey meray pyaaray bachaaay! Baat karo mjseeey!!". He is the bestest dad eveerrrrr. <3


Excuse me now, I gotta go and smile some more. 
And I suggest you join me! LETS SMILE TOGETHER! =DD

A note to little one.

Hello there, little one.


It's been a while since we last talked. Do you realize that? Do you realize, little one, that as you go about your wonderful life; hopping, jumping and dancing in your own new world, you affect so many other lives that you have forgotten to think of? You should realize that, little one.


It's a big bad world, little one. The sign on the door to this world reads, "Trust At Your Own Risk", I read it myself. Once you understand that, baby, you will conquer half the world. Try to understand that, little one.


I just want you to keep a check on yourself  little one. Are you being fair to everyone who you have left behind? Who are now, 'your past'? Who have been there at every point for you, to make you happy, and to stand by you.


Once you lose someone permanently little one, it's hard to get them back. I don't want you to stumble and fall.
Take care of yourself little one, and always remember me. You have yet to grow up into a fine young lady.


Love.

To the untuned melodies, messed up chords.

To the untuned melodies, 

messed up chords;

she danced down the clouds, 

into the valley of swords.

Her bravery indulged with the mighty might,

and strength drenched so stunningly bright;

she danced down the clouds,

veiling the grace of her thoughts,

far away, from the worldly knots.

Into the creeps of the alien abode so dark,

where happiness just requires a tempting remark,

where love, is not more than a harassing lark,

where the beauty of all, does not need a mark,

she had danced down the clouds,

deaf now; as she'd pledged,

that she did not want a hark.

To the untuned melodies,

messed up chords;

she danced down the clouds.

Calling aloud; back to her lord.

My school.

Mind Wanders.

At this very moment: somewhere, someone, would be thinking about me.

She was told: You loved.

Would somebody care to hear me out? Would you hear me now? Would you? Remember how I stood beside you every time? How I wiped your tears, not caring about the ones streaming down from my eyes? How I fought for every single one of your rights? How I made you smile every time you cried? How I never refrained from giving you my shoulder? How I forgot all my bounds just for the sake of keeping you happy. How I was your favourite thing, the favourite thing that you owned. 
Did you forget?
So you forgot all of those times? You said you would never forget. You said you'd repay me. You said you'd be there for me every time I'd need you. Did you forget? Was I that easy to let go?
And don't you even recognize my puffy eyes now? Do you see I'm helpless and broken, and I need support? I need a shoulder? I need to be repayed? I'm lost. I need you to find me my way. Would you help me out now? Don't you see how I am at time's mercy? Don't you see anything, anymore?
I know you find all this, just plain lame. That is exactly why I didn't want you around, around in my head.
You loved me.
You said you loved me.

Lone'd; her sighters shed,

they spoke of your unseen debts.

Advises; them?

Forever you meant.

" 'tis a betraying circus! Spares none; not even, an infant."

You: her desire held. For you had hemmed her scars,

insane of which had bled.

Alas! Abandoned?! You left.

Your game, most grievously heartfelt.

Your sparkel'dly beaded vows;

Screech now. As to declarely strangle;

Yet end.

That melodious laugh of your new another,

turns her into dust, altogether.

Pray could you stop.. For 'tis beyond intense, 

a molester.

She, her present: 

pieced as though, Anew'd. Again.

Crumbled and shattered;

she was barbarously, led to the men.

'Fight to struggle!'? Hah..

You would lose her!

realize, that you would lose a gem..

Nevertheless she aimlessly strolls.

Circles yet, your abode.

someday something would bring her call.

For she believed.

And she was always told:

you loved.

I wait for you; I will always, wait for you.